Pick me up
by Reigen Doki
Summary: Jim is a geek. Spock is clueless. Academy life is hard. And really bad pick up lines are used. Kirk/Spock.


**I don't own Star Trek.**

**I also don't know what I was thinking when I decided to sit down and write this… I guess this would count as my first actual AU, since it is an academy fic that would most definitely change things...Whatever. It's Kirk/Spock by the way.**

**Warning, geekdom ahead...**

… .. . .. … … .. . .. … … .. . .. …

"Hey baby, my Hadron could make our molecules collide."

"Eww." The blond woman flipped her hair, turning away from him.

James Tiberius Kirk shrugged, taking his beer back with him to where his oldest, and only, friend Leonard "Bones" McCoy was unsuccessfully glaring at people. He flopped down in the booth next to him, already sipping at his third beer. It was a bit more than he usually liked to have, but it _was_ the night before the first day of his last semester at Starfleet academy.

"Struck out again?" McCoy snorted, curled protectively around his bourbon.

"Mm." Jim agreed, taking a long pull on his beer. "The problem with the women here is they just don't get physics."

"Physics…right." McCoy shook his head. "Can't you lay off the womanizing for one night?"

"Come on McCoy, when have I ever given you cause to complain about my habits?"

"That time with the Rigelian fleas?"

"Not my fault." Jim pointed out. "Also, I carded my fingers through her hair _once_. How was I supposed to know those fleas are so persistent?"

"How about the time with the Denarian warts?"

"On my lips." Jim rolled his eyes. "I told you. I kissed her goodnight like a good gentleman. Seriously. I haven't had time for much else then flirting and a few quick make-out sessions. I might actually have to say I went through my entire education at the academy without getting laid once. Do you know how sad that is?"

McCoy sent him a scathing glare. As a doctor and someone who had, invariably, managed to see most everyone on campus naked or compromised at some time, he had zero interest in sleeping with them. Besides, he already had one little girl, he didn't need a drunken mistake being his second. Not, of course, that he didn't adore Joanna and choose to have her of his own volition. Her mother was the drunken mistake…

"My point…" Jim rolled his eyes, continuing. "Is that maybe I'm looking for a smart girl who gets me."

McCoy snorted. "And I'm a tripled breasted Hexai dancer boy."

Jim pulled a sour face. "Never really got that."

"Shut up and drink your beer Jim." McCoy ordered. "And stop ruining my night with your sporadic disappearances and asinine conversation topics."

Jim scowled. "Just how many of those have you had?"

… .. . .. …

"What the hell are you doing here Kirk?"

Jim snapped his head up from the PAAD he had been reading to grin widely at the young communications cadet. "Why hello there No-first-name Uhura."

"Answer the question." She demanded, folding her arms over her chest.

Several other students in the lab glanced nervously between them, uncomfortable with the general direction of the conversation. Everyone knew James Kirk, labs, and women did not mix.

"More important than that." Jim smirked. "You must be the one for me, because my selectively permeable membrane let you through."

"Selective my ass." Uhura narrowed her eyes. "I'm not amused, Kirk."

"James!" An old, bent over Andorian that was none other than the professor called excitedly. "So glad you could make it on the first day. I hope I'm not interrupting any of your other classes."

"It's all good." Jim smiled, effectively dismissing Uhura by loosing interest. "You wanted me to do the reticulating plasma demonstration, right?"

"Yes, yes." He smiled. "If you could start that while I hand out the syllabus?"

"No problem." Jim insisted, already doing as was asked of him.

Jim was a constant presence in the corner as the professor introduced himself and started through the syllabus, overcoat off and shirtsleeves rolled up. The professor was almost done when Jim turned the demonstration on to check it was in working order. Except, it wasn't. There was a loud pop and a flash of purplish light, followed by a surprise shout and the distinct sound of an overloaded machine fizzling out.

Jim stared at the machine in almost annoyed wonder. "Who let the damn undergrads from Archer's class touch this?"

"Jim!" The professor hissed worriedly. "Your arm."

Jim glanced down, and noticed for the first time that there was a fine mesh of burns across his arm. He inhaled sharply, recognizing that, in a minute or so, those burns were going to be agonizing. After a moment he glanced up to see the professor pushing him out the door, insisting he head to the medical building and that he could finish the demonstration on his own.

He stumbled out the door in minute shock, wondering how his day could possibly get worse. Just as the ache was starting to set in, he slammed into someone. Jim would have fallen, if not for the quick grip on his arm. His injured arm, to be specific.

Jim cried out in pain and the man…professor if the black uniform was anything to go by, released him quickly. "You are injured."

"On my way to the med building now." Jim informed the deep, soothing voice from where he was doubled over.

"Are you in need of assistance?"

"No. No. I've got it." Jim ground out. "Just a plasma burn."

The professor seemed to hesitate a moment, before placing his hands at his back. "Very well."

Jim didn't wait to be dismissed, hurrying off to where he knew McCoy would have a dermal regenerator with his name on it. Just as he thought, none of the medical staff were pleased to see him back in there. It didn't help that most of them had seen him after some pretty bad scrapes. His arm was healed, though, and his day continued mostly normally from there. Because something like _that_ wasn't a bad omen for the semester or anything.

… .. . .. …

The one thing that sucked about his work load was the sheer amount of time Jim had to spend in the library. Sneaking, because apparently asking the Librarian if he could check her out with his card was frowned upon in that establishment.

So it was in the process of sneaking that he slammed into the broad chest of a teacher. He glanced up sheepishly from where he had been trying to read and walk at the same time and met the quirked eyebrow of a tall and neat Vulcan.

"Sorry." Jim muttered, trying to pull his gaze from the brown eyes roving over him.

"I see you are not in need of medical treatment." The deep voice rang an instant bell in Jim's head.

He found himself grinning madly. "Yeah. Thanks for not harping on me for that. I should really watch where I'm going."

"Indeed." It was obvious he wanted to ask what harping was, but wisely chose he didn't want to know.

Jim found himself speaking before he could think about the words coming out of his mouth. "The sparks between us could create an electromagnet strong enough to shift the poles."

The Vulcan raised both of his eyebrows. "I was not aware either of us was giving off a static discharge."

Rather suddenly, Jim figured he looked like a tomato, because his face felt like it was the color of his uniform. "Uh…figure of speech."

Had he really just used a cheesy pick up line on a _male_ **Vulcan** _**PROFESSOR**_? What the hell was he thinking? Why wasn't he thinking? He'd never actually just blurted something like that out before. It was weird. It was stupid. It was…hilarious as all fuck, actually. The young Vulcan(serious how much older was he because he didn't look old enough to be a professor) looked like he'd swallowed something particularly foul and was promptly forced to sit on a cactus, only, without actually batting an eyelash or making any outward change.

Jim suddenly found the very strange desire to get a reaction out of him. He licked his lips nervously, wondering if he'd caught some kind of disease, because he clearly wasn't thinking straight.

Vulcan-professor had apparently deemed it a long enough time without speaking because he nodded. "Carry on, Cadet."

Jim nodded dumbly, watching him leave. Holy shit. Why the hell was that so much fun? Jim shivered, turning back to his PADD. Reading was going to be impossible with that on his mind.

… .. . .. …

"You're perfectly healthy." McCoy announced, tossing his tricorder on his bed. "So you mind telling me what that was all about?"

Jim shrugged, wondering if perhaps Bones had missed something. "You sure? Because I don't feel too hot."

McCoy furrowed his brow. "Maybe you're just run down. It happens from time to time you know."

Jim shook his head, preparing for the shouting that was about to come. "I hit on a male professor."

"WHAT!"

Jim still winced at the volume of it. "I don't know. I was in the stacks and I ran into him. Same professor as last time. I laid down a really cheesy pick up line about magnets."

"Oh God." McCoy hung his head, scrubbing roughly at his face with his hands. "Are you on academic probation?"

"No he didn't even get it." Jim shrank up on himself at the incredulous look Bones gave him and expected the worst. "He was Vulcan."

Jim yelped, rushing over when McCoy dropped to his ass, floored. "I didn't even know we _had_ any Vulcan professors."

"I know, seriously." Jim flopped down onto his bed, wondering at the big brown eyes that had been haunting him all day. "The worst part is…I kind of think I want to see him again. It was just…there was something about talking to him. It was like I was on fire."

McCoy pulled a face. "I'm all for you expanding your horizons Jimmy, but don't tell me about it."

Jim flushed. "Not like _that_. I was itching to get some kind of reaction out of him. Not…jeez, you're awful."

… .. . .. …

Oh yeah. This was the start of a beautiful semester. Jim scowled, fishing his book bag out of the fountain, thankful it was after sunset, so no one was around to see those asshole security cadets throw him in there. The down side, however, was the temperature.

"Cadet?"

Jim snapped his head up at that voice and felt his face heat up. Of all the professors on campus, why did this one just happen to be walking past? The last thing he needed was to get caught in such an embarrassing position. And by _him_.

"What are you doing?" He asked when Jim didn't respond.

Jim flushed deeper, hurriedly getting out of the fountain now that he had his bag in hand. "Just getting my bag."

The man looked him over, sweeping gaze assessing the way he dripped pathetically from head to toe. "You are wet in your entirety."

Jim shrugged, teeth chattering a little. "Yeah, well, I wasn't really ready to get pushed in."

Both eyebrows winged up. "Who assaulted you?"

Jim winced, wrapping his arms around his freezing torso. "No one. Don't worry about it."

The man opened his mouth to make some protest, but cut off short as a particularly large shiver racked Jim's body. "Remove your shirt and jacket."

Jim blinked at him in surprise. "W-what?"

"Your current clothes are leeching body heat." The man cocked his head to the side impatiently. "It is prudent you remove them."

Jim nodded dumbly, not really sure what was going on, but complying. He had his jacket hanging from his arm and his shirt half off when he noticed the professor undoing his jacket. His brain short circuited. The professor quirked an eyebrow at him when he froze and Jim flushed, pulling his shirt off the rest of the way. He nearly dropped his clothes as the professor shrugged out of his jacket, a smooth, enticing motion that left his mouth dry and his head spinning.

What the hell?

He gawked as the professor took his shirt and jacket from him and handed his own black jacket over. That short sleeved black undershirt should be criminal on him. The professor furrowed his brow minutely as Jim stood there, making no motion of understanding what was going on.

"Do you need assistance?"

Jim blushed furiously, throwing the jacket around his shoulders. "No…thanks."

"Very well. I will walk you back to your dorm."

Jim nodded dumbly, staring at the man. He shuddered violently again and started off towards the dorms, wanting a hot shower. A warm arm wrapped around his shoulder and he found himself pinned to a firm, hot chest, without missing a step. The professor seemed entirely unperturbed by the fact he was holding a student to him like that.

Jim flushed and said the first thing that came to mind. "You're so hot you denature my proteins."

Jim winced at how cheesy that was, but the professor simply glanced down at him momentarily. "Negative. Though it is true Vulcan's have higher body temperatures, the discomfort you are experiencing is due to the significant loss of temperature to your skin. The difference between our body temperatures is great enough at current that you are experiencing a burning sensation. I apologize if this causes you discomfort."

Jim flushed, pulling the jacket around himself tighter. "N-no. I'm good. Thanks."

McCoy was not amused. His eyes bugged out and his 'holy shit' face was firmly affixed when Jim opened the door, Vulcan professor still half wrapped around him. Jim mumbled his thanks, returning the jacket and accepting back his wet clothing. The professor nodded once to each of them and turned on his heel to go. In spite of the loss of heat demanding Jim go get that shower, he watched the professor go.

"What the hell was that all about?" McCoy asked when Jim turned back into the room, dumfounded.

"I got shoved in the fountain again by Cupcake and his gang." Jim leaned on the door, staring wide eyed at the far wall. "He happened past while I was fishing my stuff out."

McCoy whistled. "Wow. Maybe those pick up lines of yours were working."

Jim flushed. "I need a shower. Night Bones."

McCoy grumbled something at him, half amused and half worried. Jim stumbled blindly into the bathroom, wet clothes still in hand, the heavy, warm scent of the professor clinging to him, and the ghostly brand of his warm body still stinging his flesh. He knew, without a doubt, he was in over his head.

… .. . .. …

In Jim's defense, he hadn't even seen the professor when he came over. He spotted Uhura, and wanted words. The second he realized she was having a teacher conference with tall, dark and mysterious, though, his plan instantly changed.

"I'm attracted to you like the Earth is to the Sun; with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared." Jim announced, leaning on Uhura's chair.

She swung around glaring at him, about to order him off when the professor spoke. "I see you are well, Cadet."

Jim beamed. "Seriously, we have to stop meeting like this."

Uhura's jaw dropped. "You know each other."

"Er…not per se." Jim shrugged. "I'm not interrupting, am I?"

"You are." The professor didn't sound particularly annoyed, just informing him.

"Sorry." Jim raised his hands immediately, silly grin still in place. "I'll shove off. Until next time."

Jim turned on his heel with a wink, leaving the professor watching him walk off with one eyebrow raised in amusement. Uhura gawked for a moment, wondering what just happened there, and getting the distinct feeling that pick up line had been for her professor and not her.

Jim's heart was racing as he hurried out of the café, wondering what came over him. Yeah, he had hit on the guy a few times, but never in front of anyone else. Let alone Uhura. What if she told him he had been flirting? That would ruin everything. The only reason he was getting away with it was because he didn't realize it was happening. And besides, then he would miss the look on his face when he figured it out. What was he, brain damage? How could he have done that in front of Uhura?

… .. . .. …

It was a busy hallway, this time, when he slammed into him. There was a collective inhalation of all the students around him as they stopped to stare, fear and pity blatant on their faces. Jim wasn't sure why, because those brown eyes immediately lit up with amusement and he found a giddy little smile on his face. He opened his mouth to speak when a loud bang and an incredible shockwave shook the building.

They both snapped their heads to the side and were racing down the hall towards the labs in a second. Students were making their quick but orderly way out of the building, giving the running pair a wide birth. Jim choked as he was hit with the first roll of curling black smoke, stomach churning.

The Vulcan took a deep breath and hurried into the room. Jim's eyes widened and he followed closely, eyes stinging.

The room was filled with dark smoke, and a couple students lay on the ground unconscious. Jim lifted one hurriedly, even as he watched the professor pick up another two. They got them on the floor of the empty hall and Jim made to go back in when the professor shook his head and shoved him back down next to them. Jim nodded his understanding and quickly set about with basic first aid, communicator already out so he could contact medical personnel.

There were seven students in total that hadn't escaped the room. Medical staff were already tending the students as he brought the last pair out. Jim glanced up at him, smiling weakly when he set the last two down. He approached him carefully, mindful of the irate blond nurse checking Jim's health.

"It was reckless of you to approach the lab."

Jim bristled. "And it wasn't reckless of you?"

"Highly. That is irrelevant, however. I am a professor." He told him, ignoring the medical staff hovering around like they wanted to scan him or something. "It is my responsibility to aid in the case of such accidents. You are merely a Cadet."

"Merely my ass!" Jim snapped. "I couldn't just sit by knowing people could be dieing."

The professor's steely eyes softened. "That is commendable. However, it is unwise to endanger yourself."

Jim found himself grinning as the medical staff left them alone, deciding they weren't worth the effort. "You must be the square root of two, because I feel irrational around you."

The man quirked an eyebrow. "Fascinating."

"Sorry about running into you again." Jim's face was starting to hurt, he wasn't used to smiling that much.

"It would appear you have difficulty in 'watching where you are going'." Jim could hear the hint of amusement in his voice as he teased him.

… .. . .. …

Really, Jim was beginning to think the man needed a bell, because there was no other way he was going to spot him before he ran into him. The professor had a long suffering, put upon look in his eyes. Jim flushed vibrantly. Hadn't he promised _last time_ that he'd stop running into him literally?

"Whenever I'm near you I undergo anaerobic respiration, because you take my breath away." Jim blurted out, cheeks turning scarlet immediately.

The professor quirked an eyebrow, releasing his biceps, where he had grabbed him to keep him from overbalancing. "I suspect that may be remedied by not colliding with me whilst running."

Jim hung his head a little, stepping back quickly. "Sorry."

There was a soft giggle and Jim snapped his head up, staring at the pretty woman watching them in amusement. She shook her head and winked at him playfully. Jim's face heated further.

"I don't think that's what he meant, baby." She chuckled, placing a tender hand on the professor's arm.

Jim stomach sank and his mouth tasted acidic. Baby? The professor raised both eyebrows, no doubt at the use of the moniker.

"I do not understand why you continue to use such an illogical term, mother." The professor sounded slightly annoyed, which was actually quite amazing.

Jim was a little too distracted to really notice it, trying to figure out why he felt so relieved by that one word. Mother. That meant she wasn't his girlfriend. When Jim realized he had been jealous for a second, he blanched considerably. It worsened immediately when he realized he'd just hit on the professor in front of his mother.

His human mother?

"You're half human." Jim mumbled in wonder.

The professor stiffened and his mother frowned. "I am."

"That so cool." Jim eyed him in amazement, the scientist in him alight with the possibilities, wondering about the possibilities of hybrid vigor and complications. He realized a second later what he said and flushed considerably. "Sorry. That was inappropriate."

He eyed Jim a moment before inclining his head. "You have not transgressed."

Jim grinned weakly. "I'm late for class."

"Carry on, Cadet."

… .. . .. …

"I wish I was your problem set, because then I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk." Jim tripped when he realized what he said.

Fuck. Oh god that was embarrassing. Why did he just…really? Sex? He had just been flirting, why did his mind have to go there? And to a professor. Who was staring at him like he'd grown a second head. The worst part was, the longer he stared at him, the more Jim thought he was going to die from embarrassment. How the hell did a simple sweep of those brown eyes make his skin crawl like that? He felt like he was going to burst and he didn't even have a hand on him. Shit.

"I do not understand your statement." The professor said finally, glancing back down at the work he had been in the process of grading when Jim sauntered up in the café.

Jim gulped, wishing his uniform wasn't so damn form fitting. "I have no idea why I said that."

"Fascinating." The professor lifted an eyebrow. "Are you unwell? Your pupils are dilated and your breathing rate has increased."

A small part of Jim wanted to scream that was because he was inexplicably turned on, but that part was curled up in embarrassment, wishing it would die. "I…uh…I should probably head to the medical building just in case."

"Do you need assistance?"

Jim squeaked, mind taking that and running with it like a drunken frat boy playing capture the flag. "Uh…no. No. I'm good."

"Very well." He stared at him a moment, waiting to see him leave.

Jim gritted his teeth, minutely glad his bag was currently in front of him. "I'll just go now."

His whole body was throbbing by the time he got to his dorm room and he slumped to the floor, flushed and panting. What the hell? He'd never felt something like that before. He shuddered a little, waves of pleasure crashing over him. How did just being around him do this to him? What was he, half Orion? Jim whimpered, peeling his uniform off as quickly as he could, heading for the shower. Cold water, definitely, because he needed to think. His head certainly wasn't in charge when that professor was involved.

… .. . .. …

The lack of control he seemed to have over his own body was a serious problem when he found himself in the arms of that man again. In his defense, he had been running away from some rather vicious security cadets, who immediately turned tail and ran when they spotted the Vulcan. Jim felt the protective arm around his waist and paled considerably as blood flushed through his system. The professor glanced down at him, one eyebrow raised minutely.

"Were those the cadets who had harassed you previously?"

Jim nodded dumbly, eyes wide and body tingling. They were so close. Why were they so close? His traitorous body didn't give a damn, leaving him practically boneless, panting and needy. Both of the professor's eyebrows shot up, glancing down at Jim's body before returning his gaze to his eyes.

"You are aroused."

Jim flushed. "Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you."

The professor blinked, the only outwards sign of his shock. "You wish to engage in sexual congress with me?"

Jim flushed, nodding since he didn't trust himself to speak. The professor furrowed his brow a moment, considering the situation they were in.

"At this time, I think you should purchase me an alcoholic beverage and engage in diminutive conversation with me in hopes of establishing a rapport." He informed Jim, hand slipping lower on his back.

Jim groaned, eyes widening. "I…yeah. Yeah. I should do that."

"You are having difficulty forming coherent thoughts?"

Jim whimpered. "Yes."

The professor smirked. "Perhaps we should save discussion for another time, then."

"Please." Jim groaned, pressing closer. "Please."

… .. . .. …

Jim sighed in content wiggling closer to the warm body he was sprawled across. "I think you should probably tell me your name."

"Indeed." The professor carded his fingers through the pretty golden locks. "I am Spock."

"Jim." He chuckled.

"You have been attempting to encourage a sexual encounter since our second meeting." Spock accused, tracing Jim's muscles along his back. "Why did you not simply state your desire?"

"I only really just figured it out." Jim admitted, nipping at his collarbone. "I think you're the first person my pick up lines actually worked on."

"Indeed?" Spock purred. "That pleases me."

Jim groaned as Spock pulled him closer. "Mm. Okay, exclusivity I can do. Just…god, again, please."

Spock smirked, dragging Jim up into a kiss. "I believe that can be arranged."

Jim grinned. "What's your sine? It must be Pi/2 because baby, you're the one."

… .. . .. … … .. . .. … … .. . .. …

**This was a little fun to write.**


End file.
